so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
