he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
