ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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