VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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