He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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