so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
