is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I think I just sharted jello shots
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