Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
FUCK WHALES
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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