my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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