I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Randomize
