I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
