She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
soo... how was my night?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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