There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
tell me about the eggs
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