i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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