): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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