i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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