Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
