After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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