Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
