I molested 6 butterflies tonight
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
