he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
