Sponge bath it is.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
