get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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