she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
