I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
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