i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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