I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Randomize
