You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
