u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
