bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
