Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
