this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I touched a dick in church today
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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