We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
