he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
