The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
