you guys were way drunker than both of me
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
