Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
