Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
