i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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