my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
