eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
