Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My hand turned me down
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
