I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You can't just leave with hair like that
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
