omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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