i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
