Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
