U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Let's get the cat blown out
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
