Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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