Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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