break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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