Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
