We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
